I'm going to have the last dinner i'll have in America for the next nine months in a few hours. So far i'm not doin so well in the nerves department... you could say i'm being a total woman about it all. Hopefully this means that by the time i even get to Europe all my feelings will have drained out and i'll leave all my self doubting and attatched feelings behind me. Not that i'm going to forget all the people who just visited me and their spoken and unspoken encouragements. They'll be there the whole time. Nothing like terrifyingly hard farewells to remind a guy just how appreciated he is. Today took the life out of me. Now that the bottle of emotional champagne has popped, its foam gushing out all i felt about the last three years, i feel very, very alive.
Someone i just talked to on the phone reminded me about the other 50% of this gigantic mindfuck journey: it's fucking awsome and i'm going on a crazy adventure to redefine my life.
I'll be quite a changed man by the time i get to see all of you again. Read my letters and know that in a very real way you prepared me for this, my inspiration came from you.
See you soon.
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